It is now past Mothers Day. And I have a chance to s'it back, relax and reflect... oh wait. No, no that must have been in a dream I had. My kids miss out on "Mom Time" Alot. Like a lot more then I would even want to admit. If you come in the bakery, you have seen one, two or if you are lucky all three at a time. Is it professional? I'm not sure. Jeremy and a lot of customers have said that is how "family businesses' are. So I guess I will take it.

It doesn't make the screaming, crying and noise any less embarrassing. You never know who is walking in. I swear, Single Mothers everywhere need a damn trophy. How they handle it all is beyond me. We have a beautiful, and really supportive family who helps me out like I can't even describe. I also have my husband, my partner, my best friend- and my pain in the ass. He helps me more then I probably care to admit. But he does. I am human, I get frustrated with my kids. I don't know when to turn off "work." I never just stop. It is a constant battle of balancing work, mom and taking care of myself and mentality.

I want to be able to have my kids look at me, and learn from my successes and failures. I want them to realize that being rich doesn't mean you are successful. In all honesty, we are not rich. we are barely middle class- but I feel successful. We took everything we had and more, and pushed an idea into a company, worked this company night and day and created an actual business. I want my children to see I am doing this for them- to see that college degrees do not define you. That doesn't make you more better or worse. Take whatever you are passionate about and believe in it.

Whoa. That was deep. But honestly? It is so true. My kids each have their own cupcake on the menu now. They think they are hot shit. And, I mean they pretty much are. The pride that beams off their fair skin when I tell them their signature cupcakes were ordered, or sold out, is really enough of an approval of my long hours. 

I am now on my 16th hour of work. No seriously. And that is about how every Friday and Saturday are.... sometimes Thursday and Sundays too. I am exhausted, I have about 50 people dancing to a cover band right now and I can barely keep my eyes open. But at the end of it all I feel really blessed to be able to call this idea, mine. Well no, ours. We are not perfect. Not every cupcake is perfect, or cake or flawless. Trust me, we learn more and more each day. Trail and Error, You Tube, Tips from others... we take it all. Honestly, sometimes I can't believe we have as many dedicated customers that we do. That we have so many customers walk in for the first time and now are repeats. So thanks for sticking with us through cakes that were less then perfect, cupcakes that were half the size, and flavors that should have never been together. We just keep trying to get better with age. Kind of like wine. ;) 

Valentines Day, was madness. I don't think we were ready for it. We looked back this morning to see com parables of last year to this year... and we were up by 3x as much. We felt it, our bodies felt it and so did our employees.

We kind of loved it all in the same time. Friday and Saturday were just pure craziness, and then Sunday we all just reflected about how awesome it was- but we feel like we are delirious. Sunday we thought would be dead- was not. It was a fantastic weekend. More fantastic then most. Although this might catch flack - I really do enjoy working weekends.

I have three kids and not seeing them on the weekends is the worst, being late or not being able to bring my daughter to dance almost every single Saturday, and not being able to bring my boys to the movies for getting all A's on their report card- I feel like if I am not at the bakery  Thurs- Sun (I am there everyday...) all day then something can happen, a cake will get made wrong, too many phone calls will get unanswered. Or I just need to feel like it is running more smoothly.

We have a great staff.. all 8 of them, plus myself and Jeremy. It is crazy to think we have grown that much- but we are still in the developing stages I feel. In a year from now I want to know all our debt is paid which luckily is not much, all our equipment is bought and we have a routine for things on how we want them to run.

Lets be honest, most businesses are opened in two ways- with a backer, (an investor) or without one. We did not have one this time around. When we opened our store we have -221.00 in our account. No lie.

We had all equipment to buy, piece by piece. Craigslist, other bakeries going out of business, and just in all honesty skipping out on paying a bill or two of our own to get a fridge, or an oven, or mixer. Jeremy and myself have a great support system outside of the bakery - some who work or frequent there (my dad is like the mascot I swear.) and they helped us when needed. This might get a little deep, but its life.... we had a choice of paying our employees, and getting supplies a few months ago and not having heat for our house.  My dad came in and was a saint. We have three kids, we will never let them freeze - but yeah we don't get to draw a check every week like many think. There is no savings, or plan B (or C, or D) yet. We are in that growing phase.

It is hard, and a few months ago I had a couple weeks of a low point- of crying wondering what we were going to do. My husband who is the optimistic one- told me to go into work the next day and look around at all that we have accomplished, to look at our house, our kids, our cards, our dogs and all materialistic items we have. Look at all those- and realize that no matter how hard of a time we were going through, we are still very fortunate to have what we have. He is so right. He is so amazing. He makes me realize as much as I think other businesses have it better, they probably don't

Every single day- we have people telling us how lucky we are, how popular we are getting, etc.. and it is really surreal. To know that we started from NOTHING. Gave up everything, and I mean everything to push this company. We have no investor, we have no partners, we have each other to keep it going. We eat, breath and (hardly ever) sleep this company. I am proud of myself, now after getting through that rut I was in, and proud of my husband, our staff, our storefront, and everything we are going to do.

This is so sappy, but it is true. I never dream about success, I work for it. To quote Bright Eyes (whoa...) I would rather be working for a paycheck then waiting to win the lottery.

 

January is almost over... THANK GOD!

Not that we do terrible in January, but I mean hey- I got my hair cut and colored for $50 bucks, have gotten so many sales at local stores  and signed up for a gym with nothing down. January sucks just a little bit for everyone- and well when you are selling sweets, and everyone is on the "New Year New Me" kick it ain't helping!

But hey it is always someones birthday, anniversary, a reason to thank someone, and well music. We expanded- and we have a stage made thanks to Jeremy's friend Baby Alan ( I actually don't know why he is called Baby Alan, other then his real name is Alan, and the Baby part I forgot....) and thanks to Santa bringing lots of Guitar Center gift cards to Jeremy we have a PA System- so we have been having a lot of local bands from New England playing. And not because they come and bring a lot of people who buy cupcakes- but so far, everyone has been insanely talented. Music I would put in my car and sing really loud to talented.

So we have a lot under our belt, but it all ends up in some way tying with cupcakes. We are clever like that.

Another reason why I am not a fan of January, besides it being my birthday month and well- I am a Debbie the Downer on my birthday- but I always end up sick and so do my kids. All three, and if I am lucky all at the same time. It makes it so much easier if one is sick at each time, then it is just an on going cycle of puke, tissues, sleepless nights and doctor visits.

Also speaking of my age- this article from Connecticut Magazine came out-
http://www.connecticutmag.com/Connecticut-Magazine/February-2015/40-Under-40-Class-of-2015/

Top 40 under 40. I made the list. I have no idea how, but it is pretty awesome, and what was more awesome reading the other 39 peoples bios and why they were on the list. It is crazy to see so much talent. My good friend, Kate from KSJ made the list as well and she is just amazing and the poster girl from Hustler. She is non stop, and pushes her product- doing her website, making new inventory, making flyers and promoting and doing shows almost all weekend. Totally well deserved, she is amazing and so is her work.